Freedom

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” –Galatians 5:1

Freedom. Christ came to give life abundantly. Therefore, He never intended for us to live enslaved. Let that sink in. Not enslaved to people, comparison, money, pride, busy schedules, food, or anything else. When I surrender all at the foot of the cross, I gain freedom. Perfect freedom to be His servant…such glorious irony.

My Story...

The Women of Faith Conference in Atlanta last weekend spoke truth to my heart, rejuvenated my soul, and challenged my mind. The line-up of speakers included Sandi Patty, Kelly Minter, Patsy Clairmont, Brenda Warner, and many others. Each of these ladies shared some of their deepest hurts that included abuse, divorce, tragic accidents, and adultery. Seriously, their transparency and willingness to share their darkest moments with thousands of women spoke strength into my heart BUT it also made me doubt the power of my testimony. Would God ever use my story despite the lack of tragic events in my life?

In Mark 5, the demon-delivered man begged to go with Jesus and while the Savior refused, He gave the man a clear command. And Jesus did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”

As I have wrestled with the heart of God this week, He whispered a strong, clear answer to me. Yes, I have a story to live out. One that includes highs and lows, defeats and successes, doubting myself and doubting God, and a heart that daily chooses to trust the integrity of God. You see, comparison has stolen much of my joy over the past 10 years.

Ah, the subject of comparison. It is that pesky voice that whispers things like:

- You’re not as smart as…
- She is a better minister’s wife than you…
- Your house is not as fabulous as…(thank you, Pinterest!)
- She is a better mother than you…(hello mom guilt!)
- Your walk with God is not as strong as…
- She is a better friend than you...
- You're not as funny as...

And the list goes on and on and on. Indeed, comparison is the thief of MY joy.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt

The lies of comparison steal my joy of friendship and my ability to be content. Furthermore, it steals the gift of genuine joy when I rest in the sovereignty and integrity of my Heavenly Father. Instead of believing the lies of comparison, I will tell the world how much He has done for me and of the perfect mercy He has given.

Feeling Unworthy?

Life is crazy busy for us. A church flock to love and lead, a six month old to care for, a new house to make a home, a marriage to nurture, families to stay connected to, new friendships to cultivate, and precious friendships that span numerous miles to keep thriving.

Unfortunately, my flesh longs to appease every person God places along my path and meet every.single.expectation placed upon me. It is definitely not my best quality but an ever-present struggle in my life. Attempting to earn the love of God and those around me is beyond exhausting.

And just when my feelings of inadequacy begin to overtake my thoughts, the Word of God breathes life into my weary soul…

- Moses was marked by a severe speech impediment.

- Noah was 500 years old when he built the ark.

- Ruth was a widowed outcast.

- Paul killed Christians.

- David was an adulterer who committed murder AND was overlooked by his
own earthly father when he gave consideration to which son could become king.

- Gideon was a scared coward.

- The twelve disciples were less than perfect and often doubted Jesus, even
though He lived among them.

- Sarah bore a child in her ripe old age after doubting God would ever knit life
together in her womb.

- My own SAVIOR was born to a young girl and a carpenter in a stable surrounded
by animals.

I’m forever grateful to serve a God who chooses to use His imperfect followers. If God could use these seemingly useless characters in the Bible, then watch out world, because He will continue a mighty work through those of us who feel completely unworthy.

If God is for us, then who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

God's Perfection vs. My Imperfection

My desire for perfection often stands more as a hindrance opposed to being a help in my life. I can often accept other’s shortcomings easier than my own, yet, I am gaining a bit of understanding into why our Heavenly Father created us as imperfect beings. J asked for my hand in marriage in November and I set about to plan the most perfect wedding day in just eight months. It was my desire to give J and our precious family the most perfect marriage celebration known to man. During this journey the Lord revealed many life lessons to me, especially in my pursuit of perfection. Despite my efforts, our journey to July 11, 2009 was not perfect by worldly standards,but our day came, and the Lord was honored, two families were brought together, and our marriage was sealed. Yes, we did not pack for our honeymoon until almost 11pm on the night before our wedding, my mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and myself spent the entire Friday morning before our wedding ironing every tablecloth that would be used at the reception, J’s family stayed at our house the weekend of the wedding so we played host and hostess along with being the bride and groom, and my girls and I spent the night at a sketch hotel on the night before my big day, but I learned valuable lessons I will never forget. By Friday night or more like early Saturday morning, I was exhausted in my pursuit of perfection, but the Lord honored my desire to give J and our family and friends a Godly wedding celebration, and Saturday was absolutely perfect for us. Without a doubt, it was the day we had reverently prayed for and we saw firsthand the Lord honor our desire to come together as one. No matter how much I long for perfection here on earth, my goal will never be met, so I am continuously learning to take a deep breath, accept imperfection, and watch my Heavenly Father bless my life in ways I will never deserve. Each time I look at our wedding album or watch the video footage from that day, I am reminded that while I will never reach perfection this side of heaven, our Heavenly Father longs to bless my imperfect being. Along with the wedding day of my dreams, God gave me a faithful family consisting of Godly parents and in-laws whom I would not trade for the world. So the reoccurring lesson here is to embrace my imperfections as they continually allow me to see my immense need for a perfect God.

Precious Lord, I am daily learning to trust you more as I let go of my own desires to gain a better understanding of your plans for my life. I stand in awe of the perfect love your pour down on my imperfect self, and while I feel so unworthy, I gladly accept it.

Psalm 100:3 Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

*This entry was written on 2-2-2010*

My Steps are Determined

"We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps."
Proverbs 16:9

Precious Lord, I am daily learning to set my plans aside and to trust your perfect ways. Thank you for determining my steps.