My desire for perfection often stands more as a hindrance opposed to being a help in my life. I can often accept other’s shortcomings easier than my own, yet, I am gaining a bit of understanding into why our Heavenly Father created us as imperfect beings. J asked for my hand in marriage in November and I set about to plan the most perfect wedding day in just eight months. It was my desire to give J and our precious family the most perfect marriage celebration known to man. During this journey the Lord revealed many life lessons to me, especially in my pursuit of perfection. Despite my efforts, our journey to July 11, 2009 was not perfect by worldly standards,but our day came, and the Lord was honored, two families were brought together, and our marriage was sealed. Yes, we did not pack for our honeymoon until almost 11pm on the night before our wedding, my mother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and myself spent the entire Friday morning before our wedding ironing every tablecloth that would be used at the reception, J’s family stayed at our house the weekend of the wedding so we played host and hostess along with being the bride and groom, and my girls and I spent the night at a sketch hotel on the night before my big day, but I learned valuable lessons I will never forget. By Friday night or more like early Saturday morning, I was exhausted in my pursuit of perfection, but the Lord honored my desire to give J and our family and friends a Godly wedding celebration, and Saturday was absolutely perfect for us. Without a doubt, it was the day we had reverently prayed for and we saw firsthand the Lord honor our desire to come together as one. No matter how much I long for perfection here on earth, my goal will never be met, so I am continuously learning to take a deep breath, accept imperfection, and watch my Heavenly Father bless my life in ways I will never deserve. Each time I look at our wedding album or watch the video footage from that day, I am reminded that while I will never reach perfection this side of heaven, our Heavenly Father longs to bless my imperfect being. Along with the wedding day of my dreams, God gave me a faithful family consisting of Godly parents and in-laws whom I would not trade for the world. So the reoccurring lesson here is to embrace my imperfections as they continually allow me to see my immense need for a perfect God.
Precious Lord, I am daily learning to trust you more as I let go of my own desires to gain a better understanding of your plans for my life. I stand in awe of the perfect love your pour down on my imperfect self, and while I feel so unworthy, I gladly accept it.
Psalm 100:3 Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
*This entry was written on 2-2-2010*